During this trying autumn, The Onion News Network will keep a vigilant watch on the dangers of the changing season and the effects it may have on our lifestyle.  If you thought raking leaves was going to be the worst this...

This weekend, don't try introducing this morbid game to your friends.  They might think it's kind of weird... and that's an understatement!  We've all had fun mimicking our parents before, but this goes a little further than...

This investigative team has the moxie to get to the bottom of Hollywood's most enduring mysteries.  Today's open case:  Cameron Diaz's new hairdo.  The forensics team cracks it wide open by revealing the truth behind her...

The War for the White House took an unexpected turn when a crazed gunman mowed down 15 potential Iowa voters.  With the election less than a month away, and the race being so close, the party affiliations of these victims has...

When the staff runs into their first big drought of the year, it looks as though the office might reach critical mass.  Thanks to a head editor that refuses to wet his pants over the situation and a great backup plan, they...

We don't mean to be the bad guy here, but R.A.s are a bunch of losers.  Get your bubbly, over-energetic, pep rally selves back to the R.A. floor and leave us regular folk alone.  A dorm, by definition, NEEDS alcohol and co-ed ...

TV Guide conducted a survey on television's five riches personalities. It looks like we're all desperate for whatever laughs when can get, especially these days, since funnymen are in the majority. So who's Number One?...

Studio 8 has released this PSA to help find a cure for this terrible disease.  1 in every 3 people have suffered from it, and almost everyone is a carrier.  Before we lose hope, we can help each other take positive steps in ...

Derrick Comedy has been rocking out at CollegeHumor.com for years now, and it's finally paid off.  Here's the trailer for their upcoming full-length movie, Mystery Team.  Congrats, Derrick!  Live the dream! Now get out there...

Following closely on the heels of China's first voluntary military service recruitments comes this story from the Onion News Network on China's first ever willing manned space expedition.  The milestone means that China can...

CH's latest stand-up video features comedian Craig Baldo taking on Princeton, public service advertising, and police lineup sketch artists.  An equal opportunity misanthrope!

Hopefully, you'll never have to experience the empty feeling of witnessing all the dirty laundry of a deceased friend aired on the day of his funeral.  Thankfully, this is just a cartoon, but for Big Mac fans the world over,...

After taking hit after hit from the McCain campaign, Barack Obama has finally gotten a little more aggressive toward the Republican nominee.  By pointing out how McCain could be running a more successful campaign, Obama hopes...

William Henry Harrison was totally the oldest dude before Ronald Reagan to hang out in the White House.  He was so old and tough he makes John McCain look like a weeny.  He knew the most important guidance he could give the...

If you've ever been nervous about approaching a girl, you should take some notes from this suave chico's notebook.  After the initial approach (a little of the tried-and-true impromptu golf lesson) it's just a matter of time...