Personal Favorite: #6) Thinks "NAFTA" stands for "Need Another Fifty Thousand For Accessories."

God, we're going to miss her. Please don't leave our lives Sarah Palin. You are just way too much fun. 

Ten locals of the roughly 7,000 Wasilla residents got together on Dave's behalf to deliver "Top Ten Surprising Facts About Sarah Palin." The biggest surprise? The #1 answer isn't: "She could soon be second in line to the...

"Each time McClellan lied about Iraq, Bush gave him a barrel of oil." Are we sure that's a joke?

...Presented by WGA members from shows like Colbert, The Daily Show and Law & Order. This list wasn't lame, this list is life. And as bonus, Robin Williams comes on too make beard jokes: Robert E. Lee, Iraqis, rabbis, even a...

We think having a creepy dude ask to take a picture of our feet or offer to sell us the same crap out of his van at half-price would liven up the misery of a December afternoon at Macy's.

At least he was in November 2005, when he put on his eco-comedy-green-suit and delivered the "Top 10 Signs Global Warming Exists" from that bastion of Earth-friendly initiatives, Las Vegas, Nevada. You may be thinking that...

Oh, but not your baby. He's adorable. Especially that picture from the beach where he's got the floaties around his neck and arms. What's that? You don't own any floaties? Huh. At least he's healthy.

If you've been asking yourself, "why, after six years, haven't we been able to find a 6-foot-5 bearded Arab with a dialysis machine?" It's because he's hiding out next door. The summer-ending "sun, fun and jihad" party should...

The Bush Administration is keeping it together about as well the mortgage-lending industry. The latest defector is Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. We figured it's because he's mired (and Harriet-Miered) in the muck of his...

If you haven't heard, there is going to be a white wedding at the White House. Jenna Bush got engaged to Henry Hager, who started his career as an intern to Karl Rove. Love blossomed in the aura of the man the president...

Following Wimbledon title #4, Venus has ten things she would like to say to Mr. Letterman. We think after her gritty, gutty performance in England, Venus deserves to say whatever she wants. Delivered by the giggly champ...

Jeremy Roenick was a great player (any 20-and 30-something is nodding right now, remembering of the Blackhawks from EA Sports' NHL 94), but it was his words that usually got him in the news. In honor of Jeremy Roenick, who...

No, "Cheney is Lucifer incarnate" isn't on the list. (That wouldn't be a surprise.)

Our long national comedy nightmare is over: Paris Hilton is out of the clink. Here Letterman lists the "Top Ten Things Paris Hilton Will Miss About Prison," which includes both parasite-infested foods and prison bologna....

At least not for the next month or so, while everyone's favorite "Simple Life" star is checked in the Los Angeles County Hilton. Letterman sends her off with the "Top 10 Things Paris Hilton Heard Today In Prison." For comedy'...