Listen Mamacita, Elf didn't suck and your mashed potatoes are always lumpy. And because of your insubordination to Hollywood royalty, Stepbrothers Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are going to work the wiener like a speedbag....

By the time you read this, Guillermo may be crying in his Pacifico for the absolute stinkbomb the Lakers dropped on the NBA. Maybe Kobe went off for 60 last night and LA is still in it, but that's about the minimum number of...

Tom Silver, a clinical hypnotist, put Uncle Frank, Guillermo and Veatrice under his spell. We've watched it three times and still can't figure out how you can tell. Hey-OH!

Jimmy pulls out another blast from the past to get the residuals flowing to his emaciated writing staff. Good for him, Monster Thickburgers don't pay for themselves. The game is pretty simple: Kimmel and his lovely assistant/...