And does a fairly decent job, much better than your garden variety Congressperson anyway. Nobody will ever top the subversive genius of Stephen Colbert, but Ferguson gets in some good jabs in his Scottish brogue. He's...

Horses, booze, parades and a randy Scotsman. Isn't that what the holidays are all about?

For goodness sake, will you look at this? Sean Connery left us something under the tree--Oh, no. Is that....

 

It starts out as a riff on the world's most renowned shoe-chucker and gets a little gamier from there...

For the comedy gift that's sweeter than candied yams, heartier than cornbread stuffing, richer than buttermilk gravy and meatier than caribou steaks. 

Can you guess who it is?

Now that Daniel Craig has gone and soaked up all the world's 007 love, what's an aging James Bond to do? Well, 17 martinis, a game of naked Twister and a hot chick with a mustache ought to cover a solid evening. Eh, 00-Susan?

Who knows what not to do around the White House better than George W.? Good thing the transition is going smoothly. Bush showed the Obaminator where the 19th-century porn is stashed, let him know he cast his vote for change,...

We disagree, Mr. Ferguson. We think now that there's a black man headed to the White House, Tim Meadows has every right to bitch-slap a white hobo. Kill whitey!

And truth be told, Fonzie's political polling doesn't seem any less ridiculous than Zogby. Heyyyyyyyyy!

We totally agree with Craig Fergsuon and his alter ego, celebrity suck-up Vance LaBrea. Wolf down a steak-and-kidney pie, Kiera! We need you to go all Kate Winslet not Calista Flockhart. 

The erstwhile Golden Girl finds Sarah Palin to be a mentally unbalanced female dog, but views Barack like a hungry dog eyeing up a big fat steak. What's the female equivalent of Viagra? Obama. 

Tim Meadows isn't going to change a damn thing in our current economic climate; he's still going to smoke his crystal meth. Even on "Black Monday," especially on "Black Monday." Oh settle down, it's just a term for things...

Lettermen is his boss after all, and you always want to show loyalty to those who sign the checks, even if they aren't sure who you are. Go play softball with Katie, Senator McCain, but remember DEMOCRACY FIRST! To paraphrase ...

On September 11, Craig said he wanted "someone he loves" on the Late Late Show, so he brought out his sister Lynn. Unless you saw her performance of Heart & Sole (about a woman who falls in love with a fish) at the Edinburgh...

The dopest beats and sickest rhymes are plaid this year. Lil Wayne better step back and recognize the lads from Scotland are killing it, and kilting it. Haggis if you hear me.